So, here's a stab at it. (Tune: "Pollution" by Tom Lehrer)
If you're feeling wan and weary
Try this old and trusted theory
Though evidence is razor-thin
It's not plain water, it's medicine!
The hypochondriac's favorite salve
The less that you got
The more that you have!
Dissolve your cure and have no care
'Cause water remembers what was there
Add more water, and still more yet
'Cause the more you add, the stronger it gets!
You know it's true because
It has the endorsement
Of TV's Doctor Oz!
But if this theory is on the square
Of the Pacific you should beware
One part per trillion of Fukushima
Oughta be enough to boil Godzilla
So go buy your homeopathic cure-alls today
The quacks say you oughta
Buy lots of water
And throw all of your cash- away!!